💌 No I GO! this week - but a song

I will lay my father to rest tomorrow morning. He was 73 and passed after a brutal battle with aggressive #dementia and multiple #cancers —likely the result of heavy smoking, poor lifestyle choices, and stress.

So instead of a newsletter, I’m sharing his favourite song: Eloise by Barry Ryan [see below]. A beautiful 1968 track as over-the-top, dramatic, and mercurial as he was. A gut-wrenching mini opera, the rock ballad of all ballads, a prelude to #BohemianRhapsody or #NovemberRain (my all-time fave).

The song opens with a clownish laugh that seems to choke on tears (missing from video but in full version). The rest is a rollercoaster of emotions—reflective interludes, manic crescendos, deep crashes, and a final act raging against the impossibility of a love lived freely. A metaphor for existence itself - its highs, his lows?

British singer Barry Ryan sang the words written by his twin brother Paul at just 20 years old, yet his voice carries the emotional depth of a lifetime.

My father was larger than life—the soul of a party, eloquent, a relentless traveller, hardworking to the point of exhaustion. A self-made and self-centred man who thrived on good times and grand(iose) gestures but could shift in an instant. A whirlwind of intensity—sucking everyone who got too close into a spiral of life-affirming moments or despair. He lived with bipolardisorder - and we had to live with it too.

He was flawed, unpredictable — but also exuberantly passionate and alive.

I suppose I am, after all, my father’s rightful daughter. (Minus the disorder)

Repose enfin en paix, Papa. Thank you for the fire.

Photo caption: Last summer, took my father out of the care home one afternoon to play Scrabble, exercise his memory, but he was struggling. I tried to be patient, not always my forte. It was, surprisingly, a good moment. Nailed him of course. Chuckled as I took this picture (‘Chauves’—French for ‘Bald’). One week later, he couldn’t remember my name.

I’ll be back next week with #IGO!—my ode to curiosity and to LIFE—with more stories, ideas, serendipities and the same joy.